Milestone

This is the first week (knock on wood because it's only Thursday) that I've been at school (work, but I work in a school, so it works) all week. This term- and we're five weeks in.

This is the first week since late June where I haven't had a major anxiety attack at some point. I've had a few medium ones, but I've still been able to go to work, thankfully.

I say thankfully because last week I was really over it. I was really over having to call in sick because an attack had left me so exhausted and drained that I had no energy to go to work.

Namely because it's a huge hassle and even missing one day puts you behind majorly; but also because I always worry one sick day could be the difference between me being employed or unemployed next year. I'm on a 1 year contract.

If there's a job open for next year, I don't want them to look at my name and say "no, she takes too much time off." I'm not saying they would, and I'm pretty sure there are people I work with who have taken much more time off than I have, but that's how I think.

And yeah, the voice in my head that has these thoughts is my mother's. I don't know what that means.