I've been feeling really low lately.
Initially, I didn't think anything of it, I just thought it was because it was the end of school holidays; and although I love my job (the majority of the time), I always feel a little low and unmotivated at the end of the holidays.
But it's still going on, and that doesn't happen to me very often. Getting out of bed is really hard, it can take me up to an hour to drag myself out of bed. And sometimes, once I get out of bed and get moving and start my day, I'm ok.
Some days, I send the entire day feeling one step away from tears and wanting to crawl back into bed.
I'm not sleeping very well, I don't think I've gotten more than 5 or 6 hours most nights in the past 2 or so weeks. I'm always exhausted, but I take hours to fall asleep.
I'm rarely hungry, and I'm not motivated to cook or clean... although, if I'm honest, that's not new.
I have dinner and a professional learning course to go to on Friday and Saturday; and right now, I'm absolutely dreading it. I mean, the course should be really good, we're getting Bill Rogers in to talk, who is a really big deal in education here... but having to go out and be sociable, I don't know if I can do it.
Being this way means that I'm struggling most at work. I yelled at two classes and almost cried in one of those.
I just want to be able to get a full nights sleep and feel like I’m rested; and be properly hungry and have the energy and motivation to get up and cook; and be able to get through the day without feeling like I could burst into tears at any moment half the time.
I talked to my psychologist about it when I saw her last week, but we couldn't work out what brought this on. I blamed the lack of sleep, combined with a pretty busy few weeks. I don't know any more.
It hasn't been all doom and gloom during this time though. I've been fine on the days I'm seeing a musical, but that's not the cheapest way to manage my mood.
I'm so very tired.
